I have been very, very contemplative these past days. The ER experiences at MidMichigan Health in Mount Pleasant and at Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit made me rethink many things about my healing journey.
At the heart of this vexation is the issue with chemotherapy. I’m on my fourth kind now. I’ve faithfully showed up at every infusion for almost 2.5 years. It helped me at the start and the weeks after but lately, even chemo is showing signs of fatigue. I’m now seeing undesired changes in my body and total health. I have many questions that need answers. What to do?
If someone were to ask me what steps to take upon cancer diagnosis, I will say this: Start with God. Don’t rush to see the doctor until you have bent your trembling knees and poured out your turbulent heart to Him. Cry if you must. Weep profusely. Make sure you have God in this difficult place. Don’t be without Him. Establish the fact that God is your Healer. He is your Help and Hope. He has a plan. He is the Master Planner. He created the universe. He created your body. Who else can have His expertise?
Well, this wealth of wisdom needed to be revisited. I started this journey with God, patiently traversing it with Him and I will keep moving on in His strength. God’s wisdom is rich and it never disappoints. I will be profoundly lost without it.
God is never surprised at all the twists and turns of this journey. His timing is perfect. He is never late. He is always spot on. His timetable is flawless.
He has confirmed in my trusting heart that it’s time to move on and to believe Ecclesiastes 3:3 “A time to kill (cancer cells?), and a time to heal (“incurable stage 4 breast cancer”). He’s reminding me “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens.” Eccl. 3:1. He’s been speaking all these truths the whole time. I just needed to, once more, put all my faith in His loving hands.
So what am I saying?
This… I walked away from chemo on 8.21.21. I advised my Oncologist to cancel my scheduled infusions (out of respect for my body. which the Bible calls the temple of the Holy Spirit). 1 Cor. 6:19. She’s not very happy but it’s okay. They know chemo is cytotoxic, deadly and not always successful. I’m thankful to God for all His miracles of healing. He has used all these doctors, nurses and staff to heal me. He is so powerful that He can turn stone to bread and poison to remedy. I don’t deserve His goodness. But I will revel in it every moment of my life.
Life. Cancer taught me to deeply value the gift of life. I have never ever understood nor appreciated the value of life as much as I do now.
GOD IS LIFE.
